[turning twenty-five flipped my life upside down]

Aisha Frazier on campus at UNC-Chapel Hill

Let me take you back to the beginning of 2024. I was 24 years old and living in Washington, D.C., working at ABC News as a Desk Assistant—an entry-level role in network news. I put in 40+ hours a week, usually on the overnight shift, immersing myself in the fast-paced world of journalism and learning the ropes as a young journalist in the city. When I wasn’t darting through the halls of the building on Desales Street, I was working a side job as a barista, slinging coffee at a Starbucks on 14th Street. (I’ll admit—I didn’t get much sleep.)

I was in an almost three-year relationship, with the person I thought I’d marry. The relationship turned long-distance when I decided to move 300 miles away from the home we were building in the Carolinas to pursue my dreams in a bigger – more newsy – city.  (Honestly, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.) 

I ended up living in a house with five other people, all between the ages of 23 and 25. We called it The Pink Lighthouse. It became a safe place for LGBTQ+ folks in the area—a place where we shared dinners, threw big parties and events, and had heart-to-heart conversations over morning bagels and tea. Most importantly, we were there for each other. Moving to a new city and living there was, without a doubt, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I’m a North Carolina girl, raised in Charlotte, and I went to undergrad at North Carolina A&T State University in Greensboro, so D.C. was the furthest I’d ever lived from my family. The Pink Lighthouse quickly became my support system away from my NC community. While living there, I found comfort in routine and life started to fall into a rhythm, much like the schedule below.

Midnight – 8:00 AM: ABC News Shift

8:30 – 9:30 AM: Gym

10:00 – 11:30 AM: Run errands and meal prep

12:00 – 6:00 PM: Starbucks shift

6:15 – 6:45 PM: Eat dinner and get ready for bed

7:00 – 11:15 PM: Sleep

11:15 – 11:35 PM: Race to get ready for the ABC News shift 

Although I was always on the go, going, I did begin to feel settled. Then, I made a decision—one based on faith—to go to graduate school. With the journalism industry evolving and an acceptance letter from UNC-Chapel Hill in hand, I realized that now was as good a time as any to work toward my future goals. I hope to become a successful news producer and journalism instructor someday.

In June, after making that tough decision, I turned 25—and my routine, along with the life I had started to build in D.C., went straight out the window. I moved to Carrboro, NC, started a master’s program, ended a relationship (because they lied to me, about a lot — how icky), moved into my first solo apartment, bought a new car, and started a new job. I have whiplash because of the whirlwind it’s been. Oh, and I cut all my hair off!

My life and routine all look so much different now. 

I’m relearning how to prioritize myself and my free time. Reintroducing workouts has been difficult since school and work dominate most of my schedule. Meal prepping has fallen to the side—honestly, I’m lucky if I manage to eat two meals a day, let alone the three high-protein meals my 24-year-old self used to swear by. Now, I’m paying for my own insurance (and seriously, why are there so many kinds—renters, car, health, phone?). Just the other day, I had to buy a whole new set of tires after getting two flats, and I realized – I’m not “buy a new set of tires” grown yet. 

The moral of this story is that I’ve been tested during this year. I’ve been challenged. I’m constantly thinking about my future and “the right decisions.” Not a day passes that I don’t think about dating or marriage – but I also still feel very young and not ready for that kind of commitment. Funny enough though, I’m not alone. I talk to my friends who are 25, about to be 25, or recently turned 26 and the questions we ask ourselves are so similar, but all of our lives seem so very different. 

The special thing about being in your mid-twenties is that, supposedly, your brain has reached full maturity—at least according to the National Library of Medicine. By around 25, your prefrontal cortex, a.k.a. your frontal lobe, is fully developed. How this impacts your life or decision-making, however, is a whole other story—and it seems to vary widely from person to person.

Being in your mid-twenties means navigating a wild mix of lifestyles among your friends. Some are married, others have kids, and a few are swiping through dating apps in search of love. Some friends just bought their first homes, others are living with their parents, and some are paying rent for their first solo apartment. A couple of my best friends are on a cruise in the middle of the week, another just got back from Istanbul, while the rest of us in the group chat are getting ready to clock in tomorrow morning. One friend is doing Dry January, and another can’t miss their weekly Wine Wednesday buzz.

The mid-twenties are so exciting and unique for each person. They offer you the youth of being in your twenties but the wisdom of a fully developed frontal lobe. This blog aims to highlight the experiences, lessons learned, and questions faced by people in their mid-twenties. Whether you're the one waking up at 6 a.m. for Pilates or staying up until 1 a.m. scrolling on TikTok, the goal is to remind you that your journey is entirely your own. You are not behind—and you are most certainly not alone.

Welcome to  [ t h e   d e v e l o p e d   f r o n t a l   l o b e]. 

I hope you find something meaningful in the stories shared here. Whether you're 25 or not, I hope you can relate to the questions we all face about the uncertainties of life and the societal pressures we feel.