[how will you meet new people if you never leave the house?]

A collage of some recent outings with new friends.

I’ve had the same best friends since elementary school. It just so happened that most of them went to college at the same school or in the same area as me. Because of that, I never really had to push myself to build new connections or make new friends. The ones I’ve been lucky enough to gain have come naturally—through proximity, school, or work.

That was until I decided to move to a completely new city, where none of them lived.

At the same time, the few people I did know in this new place had so many moving pieces in their lives. That’s just part of being 25. Some are new parents, planning weddings, throwing themselves into their careers, or focusing on different priorities.

I don’t hold that against anyone—life is busy. I also have my own responsibilities and often have to plan outings with my longtime friends months in advance just to make sure we’re keeping our friendships strong.

But even with all that, I still want to build new friendships. I still want community in this new city.

That desire has forced me to sit down and really think about what I’m looking for in friendships at this stage of my life. I’ve had to ask myself:

• Do I even want new friends?

• What do I hope to learn and gain from building new friendships that my current ones don’t already offer?

• What kinds of people do I want to build community with?

• What do I have to offer or pour into a new community?

And as I started reflecting, I had a realization: I say I want community, but I never actually leave my house to meet people.

People in my grad school cohort have invited me out, but I usually decline because, well… my bed and a good movie just sound way more appealing. Way more comfortable.

It wasn’t until I started feeling truly isolated that I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone. One of my 2025 resolutions has been to meet new people, talk to strangers, and actively build a strong community.

I love my best friends, and I make sure to plan time throughout the year to see them. But the distance can still make me feel lonely. Instead of letting those feelings consume me, I’ve been trying something new: actually leaving my house.

Recently, I attended a Valentine’s event for Black and queer people in the RDU area called Girls Need Love Too. It was hosted by Cris, the founder of Friends of a Friend (F.O.F), a local group created for people looking to make friends, explore the city, and build community as LGBTQ+ people of color.

I stumbled across the event on TikTok during one of my sad Saturday night doom-scroll sessions and took it as a sign from the universe. I needed to start putting myself in the spaces I was craving.

So, I went. And let me tell you—I am so glad I did.

Since that night, I’ve hung out with the F.O.F. group almost every week. The people I’ve met through it are amazing—genuine, kind, and committed to building healthy, positive relationships.

Just the other day, I got some unsettling news and reached out to Cris about it. We haven’t had many deep conversations yet, but she still gave me great advice that made me feel truly seen and heard.

Then, she followed up with something that really stuck with me:

"I’m still learning how to be your friend. So if you don’t want advice, or if next time you just want a listening ear, I can do that too."

That moved me. So many people assume advice is what you need, without stopping to ask – what do you need from me at this moment? Most people don’t even think that way, let alone communicate it.

Reading that message made me realize—this is exactly what I was looking for when I set out to build community. People who are mature, intentional, and open. People who know how to have fun but also create space for real connection and growth.

I’m so excited to see where these friendships with F.O.F. lead.

All I had to do was get out of my comfort zone and leave my house to find them.

Anyone located in the RDU area, interested in learning more or coming out to any F.O.F events can follow them on Instagram @_f.o.f._ or join the Geneva Community!