[cheers to women building community]

It’s already the end of March, huh? 

Next week, I’ll be participating in a panel on women in the community to close out Women’s History Month. The invite to join this virtual conversation with UNC Charlotte students got me reflecting on the women in my own life—the ones who are showing up every day and doing the work of building community.

One of the panel organizers happens to be my best friend, Julia Meyarzum. She’s been planting roots in Charlotte’s creative scene, leading with intention and care. Julia is the CEO of The Golden Plum Collective, a cultural creative agency focused on experience curation, creative consulting, and strategy. It’s not her full-time job, but she pours her energy into it because she’s committed to creating space for others.

Another woman who comes to mind is Cris—the founder of Friends of a Friend, the group I mentioned in last week’s blog. She’s someone who shows what it means to build meaningful connections.

Honestly, I could spend all day naming the women in my personal circle who are cultivating community. But I also want to use this moment to highlight a few local changemakers—people in the RDU area who are actively creating space, particularly for Black and queer folks.

Last year, I wrote an article about some of those changemakers, and I wanted to share it with you here. I hope you’ll take a moment to check it out.

… 

Local artists and DJs hosting events to foster community for LGBTQ+ people of color

By Aisha Frazier

A collage of photos from an event I attended, DJ Wicked was the host.

A simple Google search reveals how difficult it is to find active links or dedicated clubs focused on LGBTQ+ spaces for Black people or people of color in Raleigh, Durham, and the greater Triangle (RDU) area.

UNC-Chapel Hill’s Queer and Transgender People of Color Club hasn’t updated its Instagram since 2021. LGBTQ+ centers in the area don’t cater specifically to any racial group.

When I moved to Chapel Hill in August for graduate school, I yearned to find people like me. I’d moved from Washington, DC, where entire nightclubs, cafes and social groups cater to Black queer folk.

In the Tar Heel community, I can go days without seeing more than two Black people, let alone outwardly queer people.

A friend of mine, a white lesbian, introduced me to the @theconjure Instagram page.

The Conjure is a Durham-based “safer-space dance party that features and celebrates the magic of Black and Brown femmes, theys, and thems,” according to its bio.

Femi the Femme and Gemynii founded the organization to bring ease, joy and honor to the LGBTQ+ community through music.

“I think just being part of the LGBT community, it’s important to have places where we can have fun,” said Brianna Gonzalez, a.k.a. DJ Wicked. “And focusing on bringing Black people together adds a whole other piece to it.”

DJ Wicked is a local DJ who hosts parties and community events. Some of her well-known parties include House of Her—a femme-only gathering—and House of Beyoncé.

A North Carolina native, DJ Wicked has been DJing since she was 11 years old and was awarded Indy Week’s 2023 Triangle DJ of the Year.

Her events have become a popular gathering for Black LGBTQ+ folks and people of color in the RDU area, although they are open to people of all races and identities.

“It’s like the space will never explicitly say, this is for Black queer people only,” said Chasyn Carter, a performer, and queer Durham resident. “You're going to be seeing Black queer folks all around the event, and it immediately makes the space comfortable because you realize, ‘Oh, I'm amongst people who look like me, act like me and feel like me.’”

Carter said she’s brought her straight friends to some of the parties, and while they initially felt “the queerness” and were nervous, they soon relaxed, realizing the space was welcoming. This sense of comfort, Carter noted, isn’t a privilege Black and Brown queer people always experience at popular gay bars like Legends in the RDU area.

Dekedre McGee, a Black lesbian, is originally from Virginia but moved to NC North Carolina for college when she was 18 years old. Now 29, she has met lots of other Black queer people through activities like flag football and DJ Wicked events, she said. 

“The black diaspora is already so diverse, so to be able to experience that, but also it be a safe space is so special,” McGee said. “I like being able to come out to these events and know I’m not going to be judged...everyone is just here doing their own thing,” 

As McGee has learned, a DJ Wicked event isn’t just a party; it often includes Black-owned vendors, food and various resources that coincide with different parts of the year.

At House of Beyoncé in September, there was a voter registration table, and anyone registered voter could ride the mechanical bull on the dance floor.

Parties at other times of the year might include testing for sexually transmitted infections or a raffle for tickets.

The decision to create a space for fun and access to resources is intentional.

“I always say you come to one of my parties, and you’re going to leave with something,” DJ Wicked said.

“I’m about putting people on, supporting Black-owned businesses and giving people access to opportunities.”

Carter and DJ Wicked both said that while spaces such as the LGBT+ Center of Durham are important, event organizers there may need to do a better job meeting community members where they are to increase attendance and engagement.

“If people aren’t going to the centers, and we still need to get them this information, if I can do it, might as well meet halfway,” Carter said. “I've been to open mics that do, like, STD screenings during the event, bringing resources to people in a way that’s tactful and tasteful.”

In 2024, the LGBT+ Center of Durham laid off four employees. Riley Carter, one of them, organized a GoFundMe to raise money for those abruptly out of work.

The LGBT+ Center of Durham hadn’t responded to requests for an interview at the time this story was written. 

Naturally formed affinity groups lead to better mental and physical health outcomes, according to race and gender sociology expert Dr. Jeanette Wade.

Wade, an associate professor and program director in Human Health Sciences at UNC Greensboro, is also the editor-in-chief of Women’s Health, a research journal.

She has deeply researched and participated in “sista circles,” affinity spaces created organically by Black women in academia. These are safe spaces to address grievances around misogynoir – the intersection of racism and misogyny – in the workplace, but they’re also social gatherings.

“This affinity group can cultivate that group identity, so then you’re so prideful, the larger space can’t break you,” Wade said.

Like sista circles, the events hosted by DJ Wicked and The Conjure allow people to develop a strong sense of queer and Black pride they can’t get anywhere else.

And that has been true for me as I still find my social footing in the area. It was during the House of Beyoncé event that I met a friend who was also new to the area, and we’ve been hanging out ever since.

“It means a lot because I know I’m part of a certain community and, as a DJ, I feel like I have a job to do, which is to represent that community the best way I can,” DJ Wicked said.